Football season is here! But what does that have to do with your relationships?

Football season is here! But what on Earth does that have to do with your relationships?! Well, nothing—and EVERYTHING.  

Another change of season is upon us. The temperature is dropping, and leaves are starting to fall.  For me, it’s exhilarating. It’s my favorite time of the year! Autumn allows me to do ALL the things I love to do. I plan hiking trips with friends—it’s a great way to stay in shape and a perfect way to take in the fall foliage.  My family also partakes in a yearly apple and pumpkin picking day at Mohonk Mountain with longtime friends. It’s one of my cherished annual traditions! Also, now that my children are older, we recently started a monthly game night—the kids come over for dinner and we play games, chat, catch up and enjoy each other’s company, ideally concluding the night by sitting around the fire pit in the crisp autumn air (s’mores included, of course!)

But my absolute favorite activity is watching football—I fully admit to being one of those people who can sit on the sofa all day long when there are games on. My youngest son and I even started a tradition of going to Gillette Stadium in Boston to enjoy a game in person. It allows me to bond with him in a way that’s exciting for us both.  

So where am I going with this list of festivities? 

When the change of seasons occurs, we can easily fall into a negative mindset. We may start to dread the colder weather, or the kids going back to school. Maybe you have less energy when it gets dark so early. Maybe the impending holidays and the laundry list of gifts to buy and occasions to host gets overwhelming. The list goes on for each new season, for each occasion, and for each life event. Once we lock into a negative thought pattern, we subconsciously focus on it. It distracts us from living intentionally. It distracts us from creating the life we WANT. 

So again, what does this have to do with relationships? 

If you are single and looking for a relationship, you must make sure YOU are the person that you are looking for. Take inventory.  Do you have a life that excites you? Do you have your own opinions or are you the “YES person” who just wants to please others? On the other side of the coin, do you have enough confidence to listen more intently and ask curious questions, rather than giving your own opinion all the time? Do you intentionally set aside time for your hobbies, interests, education, and other things that are unique to you? Do you create a life that you love, filled with things you enjoy on a daily, weekly, monthly, or seasonal basis?

The reason this is so vital is this: If you are NOT creating a life you love independently, it is IMPOSSIBLE to lay a foundation for a healthy romantic relationship. If you don’t love the life you are currently leading, then inevitably, your potential partner takes on the burden of being your sole source of joy and happiness. That is a huge load for one person to carry! It’s a recipe for disaster. Ultimately, if you haven’t done the proper soul searching by intentionally designing the life YOU desire, you can easily fall prey to meeting someone and falling into THEIR life. One day down the road, you might wake up and ask how you got there—it’s not what you would have wished for yourself.  

So, this fall, instead of focusing on the negative, what are the top 3 thing YOU can do to make this the best season of your year? These 3 items will be different for everyone. It may be hiring a personal trainer or a life coach. It may be getting away for a long weekend. It may be picking up a foreign language or taking cooking lessons. Maybe it’s starting a book club. Have friends over and ask everyone to bring their favorite dish. End the night with a wine tasting. Have each person bring a bottle of wine and secretly pour a little taste from each bottle and see who can identify the wine correctly. Don’t wait for an invitation—be the one who gets the ball rolling. 

Be creative.

Be whimsical.


The moral of the story: This time of year or any, if you are searching for your soulmate, begin by searching your OWN soul first.

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