As you stare at the clock, minutes start to feel like hours. You can hear the TV in the background but have no idea what’s on. “Where is he?” your panicked thoughts scream. “He should have called by now…” Your mind races through every scenario that could possibly be, only to conclude—he must be with another woman.

The phone rings (finally!) and your heart leaps into your throat. Your face flushing hot with anger, you answer, unable to conceal your aggravation, and end up shouting—“Where have you been?!” The voice on the other end goes silent. Before another word is spoken, you realize your man has emotionally shut down. Moments later the call ends abruptly, with you convinced he just doesn’t care. 

A thousand different versions of this scenario play out every day, in relationships all over the world. And the ramifications are endless and unhealthy.

Don’t allow your past negative experiences to create an insecure narrative in the present. Learn communication techniques that will help open your partner’s mind to a healthy dialogue, rather than cause emotional turmoil. Here we’ll discuss how to give this anecdote a much happier ending.

DISCLAIMER: Notice that in the story above, we have no idea where this gentleman was. We don’t know if this is a pattern and/ or if he really is a dirty scoundrel. However—the principle does not change! Never let anyone alter who you are at your core. If you want to be a dynamic, confident person, you can’t allow any given set of circumstances alter your response or demeanor.

DISCLAIMER #2: If your significant other does go missing often, with no explanation or excuse—then please, remove yourself from that relationship. But do it with a sense of dignity. When you speak from a place of confidence, you receive a higher degree of respect in return. It’s that simple. You can share your concerns in a way that communicates love.

I vividly remember a time when I did not hear from a “new-ish” boyfriend for hours. I knew he was out hiking, but I live in New Jersey, so a hike takes no more than an hour or two at best. I had no idea that where he lived, hiking was an all-day event, and that this particular mountain range had zero cell service. By the end of the day, I was really worried. I had no idea what could have happened to him!

When the phone finally rang late that night, my brain was a mix of angst and relief, but I knew that I must lead with gratitude. Through our conversation, I shared with him how concerned I had been all day. As he listened intently, we both realized the gap in our communication earlier that morning. I apologized for my overreaction, and he for not better communicating his plan for the day. The call ended with a higher level of love and admiration as we took the time to understand what it felt like to walk in one another’s shoes. We learned what was needed moving forward in order to avoid this happening again.

So, how can this be avoided?

A GROWTH MINDSET. Confidence and communication skills.
Confidence changes everything. Building your self-esteem and your communication toolbox is essential for a healthy relationship. When you communicate from a place of insecurity, havoc is right around the bend.

This is where you need to anchor a positive mindset and create mental fortitude. Take the steps to create your best-self journey. Once you focus on your self-worth and begin to define what your most abundant life looks like, transformation is within your reach. Take the time to find a qualified coach who can help you to crystalize your vision, to dissolve any limiting beliefs you may have, and to work on your action plan to achieve your dream life. The best version of your life should always include communication skills that help minimize friction in your relationships—learn to speak from a place of confidence and security.

Where do I begin?
The first step is awareness. Take time to reflect and recognize where there is room to grow. Ask yourself:

• Do you rely on your significant other as your only form of fulfillment
• Do you have the right communication skills to minimize conflict in your life?
• Do you communicate from a place of insecurity?
• Do you believe you are living the life you’ve dreamed of?

Next step: Take Action! Find books on this topic of self-growth. Some great
recommendations are:

• Awaken The Giant Within by Tony Robbins
• Good to Great by Jim Collins
• Relentless by Tim Grover
• Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patterson
• The Bible
  
  

Next, visualize what your dream life would look like. Break this down into categories and write a bold summary of what your most abundant life would be described as in each category.

• Health
• Career
• Finance
• Relationship
• Spiritual life
• Hobbies
• Personal growth
  
  

Identify what beliefs you may have that are hindering you from achieving your vision. At this point, it may be a good idea to find a qualified coach to help you dissolve these roadblocks and partner together to build an achievable action plan.

Most importantly—don’t give up! Keep a daily journal of your learning and reward your progress. You will be amazed at how differently you will respond to the world around you, and the new things you will attract in your life.

How do we summarize?
Learn to communicate from a place of best-self, regardless of the scenario. No excuses.
Your communication skills determine your destiny—and the way you communicate is determined by your mindset.

Email hello@gemrevealed.com and ask how you can improve these areas through our one-on-one coaching programs.