13 Mar Creating Your Ideal Relationship Outcome
What do you want your outcome to be? Do you intentionally think about what you want your relationship to look and feel like? I don’t mean daydreaming about it, but truly thinking about what you want your relationship stand for. For instance:
- “I want strong communication between us”
- “I do not want to argue”
- “I don’t want drama”
- “I want to trust my partner”
I often hear my clients say things similar to the above, and somehow pass the ownership and responsibility of creating these scenarios to their partner or potential partners.
That couldn’t be any further from the truth. The ownership of these attributes relies solely on YOU.
Curious why I say that? Here are two reasons:
1) How do you measure up in relation to your own desires? Are YOU the person you are looking for?
- Do you communicate well?
- Do you have a pattern of arguing?
- Do you know how to minimize conflict when it arises?
- Would you consider yourself a confident person with the ability to add value to a new relationship?
- How humble are you? Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (10 being most humble)
- How curious are you? Do you have the desire to speak more than listen?
The answers to these questions may be indicators that you need to enrich *yourself* in effort to attain the outcome you desire in your future relationship (or your current one.)
You must be cautious in selecting a partner based on physical attraction or common interests alone. You must intentionally have conversations that mine for core values and the attributes you are looking for. If you are not certain of their ability to communicate or create deep connection, then slow down the process until you have a better gauge of where you are headed. Don’t rush.
YOU are the owner of your relationship. Once you take full responsibility and take the proper steps, you can create the relationship you’ve been longing for.
In short: BECOME the kind of person you would like to have a long-lasting partnership with.
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