There is an old expression that says “If you want to identify counterfeit money, don’t spend time looking at phony currency; examine the real thing with such intensity that you will identify bogus material immediately.”

What does this have to do with relationships, you ask? I spend a lot of time researching this topic, and more often than not, the focus seems to always be on blaming others for the demise of the relationship. 

The grabbiest headlines are ones like: “What to do if (s)he ghosts you,” “How to deal with a narcissist,” “Send this text if you want your ex back,” or “Is your partner pulling away from you?” 

With that said, I’m confident that there IS valuable content in these articles. I’d almost guarantee that if you read them, you’ll walk away with some kind of beneficial insight. But you may notice  all these headlines are targeted towards symptoms—not root causes. That’s a big problem! 

We need to stop looking at false obstacles and focus on real issues. If we look at current statistics which show that one out of every two marriages  end in divorce, we can clearly see that relationships have become disposable. The fallout is devastating, as it is damaging the family unit, shatters our children, flattens our finances—the list grows dark and deeper.  

So, how do you safeguard yourself from attempting to fix these overwhelming symptoms instead of working on preventing the problem? 

Although it is not an easy or popular solution, there is an answer: prevention begins with YOU. 

Most people today are falling into relationships with out the proper framework or role modeling for what a successful relationship looks like. So when conflict arises and the foundation drops, it is easy to blame the other person for the breakup. Or worse—so many of us STAY in an unhealthy partnership, living a suboptimal life, just because it is comfortable.

Why not do what it takes to research and find the formula for success? Success leaves clues! The greatest thing you can do to minimize your chance of becoming a statistic is to do the proper inner self-work. Make sure you have an accurate view of and expectations surrounding a healthy relationship. Examine your own life and make sure you are looking for a beautiful partner—not a savior. This is where honest self-reflection must take place! If you are not happy or healthy in your independent life, you will not be capable of having a healthy relationship. You will attract a partner with your own iniquities.

Instead, ensure you are on your best-self journey by taking the time to realize your own life’s purpose, core values, and nonnegotiable standards. Equally important, understand why having these elements authentically defined is so important in finding long lasting love. How healthy are your own communications skills? How well are you able to minimize conflict when it occurs? Do you respond from a place of confidence or insecurity when problems arise? Your answers will foreshadow of your future!

In summary, consider if you are truly taking the time to design an intentional life for yourself, one that includes visualizing the relationship you desire. It all begins with YOU. You must think “on purpose” and create the plan that will lead you to a life of fulfillment.

For more understanding on building a healthy, long-lasting relationship, I invite you to a FREE conversation. Book yours now at calendly.com/gemrevealed